Forever
by 3988Akasha
Summary: Post S7. Buffy never left Spike alone in the Hellmouth. What happens when Angel and crew get the amulet? What has changed Buffy and Spike, and why are they back?
1. The Seal of Danthalzar

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, and I'm really jealous that I don't, but oh well. Now, don't sue me because I would cry, a lot. Joss is God, but you all knew that.

* * *

**The Seal of Danthalzar**

"Buffy!" Spike hollered. He could feel the trinket around his neck beginning to work its mojo.

Buffy turned and looked at Spike as she dusted a vampire. The amulet was glowing, and Spike's face was lit up. Suddenly, the ground began to shake and a bright light shot out from Spike's chest where the amulet was hanging. Instantly, the thousands of vampires turned to dust. The Slayers looked around in awe. The ground began to shake more violently, and pieces of the cave began to crash to the ground.

"Everyone out of her. Now!" Faith yelled as she ushered the girls toward the stairs.

Buffy ran over to Spike.

"I can feel it, Buffy," Spike said with awe.

"What?"

Spike looked down at her warmly, "My soul. It's really there. Kind of stings."

Everyone had made it safely out of the Hellmouth, only Spike and Buffy remained.

"Go on then," Spike told her.

"No. No, you've done enough. You could still – "

"No, you've beat them back. It's for me to do the cleanup."

"Buffy, come on," Faith yelled from the stairs.

Buffy looked up at Faith. Faith shook her head and dashed up the stairs.

"Gotta move, lamb. I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer."

Buffy looked up at him with worry etched into her features, "Spike!"

"I mean it. I gotta do this," Spike said as he held out his hand to stop her. He looked away.

Buffy laced her fingers through his. Spike looked warmly down on the blonde next to him. A flame erupted once their hands met. Buffy knew at that moment, more than another that she had to stay with him, no matter what he said.

"Buffy, luv, you need to go, now," Spike said with desperation. He had a feeling that Buffy wasn't going to leave him, and he couldn't let her die – again.

"No. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I understand it now. I'm done being cookie dough. I want to open up, to be un-alone…with you. I love you, Spike. I have for a long time, but I wasn't ready to admit it to anyone, not even myself. But, I see it now. I can't live without you, and more importantly, I don't want to live without you. Besides, I'd like to see what the end looks like," Buffy said.

Spike closed his eyes tightly as the words Buffy had spoken sunk into his brain. She _loved_ him, after all these years, she finally loved him. Seemed fitting. The world was ending just as they finally came to terms with their feelings. Buffy moved around in front of him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. Spike moved his own down to her hips. There was not going to be any changing the mind of his Slayer. _"Might as well hold her while I still can."_ Buffy and Spike yelled as they both began to combust. The flame began in Spike's chest where the amulet was and quickly jumped to Buffy. They both burst into flame as the cave crumbled around them.

Faith ran out of the school as it fell into the Hellmouth. As she reached the bus, she looked over her shoulder and smiled. Buffy had done it again, this time with help from her champion; the world would never be the same. Faith jumped onto the bus as it sped away from Sunnydale High and out of town.

"Ease off. We're clear," Faith told Robin.

Dawn fought back tears as she jumped out of the bus. Buffy wasn't on the bus. The others began to make their way out of the bus and stared in awe at the crater that was once Sunnydale, California.

"I don't understand. Who did this?" Giles asked.

"Spike," Faith said.

Giles looked at the Slayer with wide eyes. Part of him couldn't believe it. Spike saved the world. He had to admit that he'd never seen that one coming.

"Where's Buffy?" Dawn asked, holding on to the last bit of strength she possessed.

Faith looked at Dawn, tears on the edge of her eyes, "She stayed with Spike. She saved the world, again."

"You just said that _Spike_ saved the world. So, why did Buffy need to save it too?" Xander asked.

"She didn't. She needed to stay with _him_," Faith said. She closed her eyes and remembered the look on Buffy's face. Faith knew that Buffy was happy, truly in love with the souled vampire. "Look, I know I've been out of the loop for a while, but I know what I saw. B wanted to stay; the chick is tough."

Giles hung his head. His Slayer was truly gone this time. No magic spell, no CPR would bring her back this time. Buffy was finally at peace.

"So, she died happy?" Dawn asked with a weak smile. Tears stained her face. Her sister was gone, again.

Faith nodded, "Yeah. She's happy."

Willow sobbed into Kennedy's arms. Her best friend was gone for good this time. She wasn't just mourning for the loss, she was mourning for all the losses. Buffy had died for good this time. Like Tara, Buffy was gone forever. No magic spells could fix this, and part of her was glad; glad that Buffy could finally find peace, back in heaven where she was truly happy.

"Why didn't I die?" Andrew whispered to no one.

Xander walked over to Andrew, "So, did you see?"

Andrew couldn't look at Xnader, he was too ashamed. He was the one that was supposed to be dead, he was the villain. "I-I was scared. I'm sorry."

"Did you see what happened? I mean, was she –"

Andrew forced himself to look up at Xander, "She was incredible. She died saving my life."

Xander nodded, "That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing."

Andrew smiled a little as Xnader put his arm around his shoulder.

The group stared at the crater of Sunnydale; none of them quite ready to put it all behind them. They had spent seven years helping Buffy to save the world, and in the end all she'd needed was Spike. Her mortal enemy for years was the one person she turned to in the end.

"Looks like the Hellmouth is officially closed for business," Faith said. The tension of the group was heavy. They all needed to be able to move on, to heal.

"There's another one in Cleveland," Giles said, "Not to ruin the moment."

"We saved the world," Xnader said.

"We changed the world. I can feel them. All over. Slayers awakening everywhere," Willow said.

"We'll have to find them," Dawn said, "Buffy would want us to."

"We will," Willow said confidently.

"Yes, because the mall was actually in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow," Giles said.

Dawn looked up at him with wide eyes, "We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side."

"All those shops gone. The Gap, Starbucks, Toys "R" Us. Who will remember all those landmarks unless we tell the world about them?" Xander said.

"We have a lot of work ahead of us," Giles said.

Faith looked at Willow, "Can I push him in?"

"You've got my vote," Willow answered.

Faith looked at Giles, "I just want to sleep, yo, for like a week."

"I guess we all could if we wanted to," Dawn said.

"Yeah," the group said in unison.

* * *

"What do you mean we're the second front?" Wesley asked. 

"If Buffy and Spike fail, it's up to us. The fate of the world," Angel said.

"I thought the amulet was going to save the world, end all of this," Wesley said.

"Buffy wanted Spike to be her champion," Angel said bitterly.

"_Spike_? How? The bearer must have a _soul_," Wesley said.

Angel looked at Wesley. Wesley's mouth formed an 'o'. Spike had gotten himself a soul. Wesley now understood why Angel was so upset. She had chosen Spike over Angel. Spike was going to attempt to save the world. That was sure a twist.

"I'm confused. Didn't this Spike guy try to kill Buffy, like more than once?" Gunn asked.

"Yes," Angel answered.

"We must keep in mind that Angel also tried to kill Buffy. Her feelings make her overlook those things. She is driven by her heart, she always has been," Wesley said.

"When did you become so insightful?" Angel asked with a smirk.

"I've been around you for a while. It's not hard to pick up on emotion. Loren isn't the only one who can read emotions, you know," Wesley said.

"Angel," Fred said as she entered the room, "Willow is on the phone."

Angel looked hopeful. Buffy had saved the world. He followed Fred into the office.

"Willow? What's going on?" Angel asked.

"There's something you should know," Willow said.

"What is it?" Angel didn't like the sound of Willow's voice. Something was wrong, very wrong.

"You won't have to actually be the second front. Buffy and Spike died saving the world," Willow said. She had spent a good hour trying to find an easy way to tell Angel about Buffy's death. She hated being the one to call him every time she died.

"They saved the world. _Spike_ and Buffy saved the world…together. Damn, never saw that happening. How are all of you?" Angel asked.

"We'll recover. We're going to Cleveland. Giles says there's another Hellmouth there. Since all the Slayers have been called, we're going to set up a training facility. It's what Buffy would want us to do. She'd want you to go on, Angel. You can't go turning all dusty on us. We need you," Willow said.

"I'll be here," Angel said, "Take care, Wil."

Angel walked back into the conference room. "No action for us today. Buffy and Spike saved the world."

"Then why do you look like that?" Gunn asked.

"They _died_ saving the world. We are all safe because they died," Angel said.

"Damn," Gunn said.

* * *

Please review. Hope you enjoyed the it, I promise the other chapters will be longer, but I had to get this part over with first. 


	2. The Powers That Be

**The Powers That Be**

"It feels so different, Wil. We can't even bury her," Dawn said.

"I know Dawnie. It seems a bit unfair, empty like. We could make a memorial if that would help you," Willow offered.

"Like a memorial stake," Xander said.

"What about Anya? We could do something for her, too. She helped us, a lot. Like when Wil was all veiny, Anya was the one who used the counter spell," Dawn said hopefully. She desperately wanted to help Xander with his loss. This was way hard for him: Buffy _and_ Anya.

"I don't know what we'd do for her," Xander said.

"What about another magic shop? You know how much Anya liked her money, and well sex, but I think we're safer with the money," Willow offered.

"We could do that. What good is a Hellmouth without a magic shop?" Dawn said.

The mood seemed to lighten slightly. They all had many memories of the Magic Box in Sunnydale, and it would be nice to have another one to make more memories for them.

"I've finished the plans for the center, Xander," Giles said as he walked into the hotel room.

"Oh, goodie. I can finally feel useful. I'll find a crew and we'll start building Slayer Central, take two," Xander said.

"Good. I feel that if I stay in this hotel for much longer, I'll lose my mind," Giles said. He took his glasses off and cleaned them.

"I think everyone feels like that. The girls are complaining, and it's just badness all around," Dawn said.

"As soon as the plans are final, Angel will send us the money to get started. I should call with an update," Giles said.

"I'll get started on the stake idea, and I'll look up places that could be used as a magic shop," Dawn said.

"I'm really proud of Dawn. She's taking this really well," Willow said once Dawn was out of earshot.

"I know. I am too, but she's one tough girl. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time she's had to go through this. Buffy did a good job teaching Dawn after Joyce died," Xander said.

"Yeah. It was very unpretty for a while, but in the end, Buffy pulled through, just like she always did," Willow said.

"Dawn has that same spirit in her," Xander said.

"Hey guys, I've found some places," Dawn called.

* * *

"Not exactly complaining, but I thought Hell would be, well, Hell-like," Spike mused as he looked around.

The place wasn't all fire and brimstone like the Good Book said it would be, and this somehow didn't settle too well with the vampire. Not that he was exactly looking forward to the remainder of eternity residing in a very large, hot, burning fire, but this was just unnerving. In a way, the place reminded him of limbo; the place that he had been in while waiting to rise as a vampire. Since people who were turned weren't exactly dying, they couldn't be sent to their eternal resting place, so they were sent to limbo.

"That is because this place is not Hell, Spike," a voice told him.

"Right then, where in the bloody hell am I?"

"Limbo. We couldn't send you to Hell," the voice added off handedly.

"_Couldn't_? What do you mean?" Spike couldn't hide his confusion.

"Her. You two were connected, and you can't go to heaven with her and she can't go to Hell with you," the voice said.

"Her? Her who?" Spike asked, terrified about what the mystic sounding voice would tell him.

"The Slayer."

Spike's mouth formed a silent 'o'. So, he hadn't been dreaming it all. She really had been standing there, holding his hand, and then holding on to him for dear life at the end of the world. "So, mate, what happens now?"

"That is a decision I leave to you."

"Wait a bloody minute. I just get to _decide_ where I want to spend eternity?"

"Yes. I will give you options, then you choose your fate. You were chosen to be her champion, this as your reward."

"Who are you?"

"The Powers That Be."

"Right. What are my options, then?"

"For having died twice already, you think I'd be used to this, but every time it's somewhere new," Buffy said.

"True, Slayer. This is limbo, the place _between_," a voice said.

"Between what? The Gap and Express?" Buffy asked. She had had a really hard day, with dying and all. She really didn't want to play cryptic message with the mystic voices.

"Between. There is no other way to describe it. You are here because you went with him, you died in his arms."

"If I died with him, then why isn't he here – with me?" Buffy asked.

"Things aren't that simple. You've changed things, you're always changing things. We weren't ready to deal with this turn of events, Slayer."

"We? We who?" Buffy asked.

"The Powers That Be. The amulet was for you to give to a champion; you weren't expected to die with him."

"I like surprise endings. I've done this death thing a few times, and so I know that you, the PTB, can take form. So form, I'm dead and I'm still getting the wiggins."

"Must you always be this difficult?" Giles' form spoke.

"Oh great choice, thanks. And yes," Buffy answered annoyed. It was nice to see a friendly face, but her Watcher? Why couldn't it be someone hot, or at least youngish?

"You've made things increasingly difficult. The First was able to come to power because you've cheated death more than you should. You've changed the balance completely by awakening all of the potential Slayers. Then you died along with your champion," Giles said in his most annoyed tone. Buffy had grown accustomed to it over the past seven years.

"Forgive me, I'll try to be more careful next time I'm saving the world from big, bad evil," Buffy retorted.

"That isn't the point, Buffy. You have to make a choice."

"Ok."

"Where do you want to spend what's left of eternity?"

* * *

Angel stared out the window. The sun was bright outside, dozens of people wandered the streets of L.A. oblivious to how close the end of the world had been. Angel shook his head. He had to stop thinking about her. She was dead. Even if she was alive, he'd still be here, alone. She had chosen Spike. She loved Spike. Angel was no fool, despite what Spike's opinion was; he knew how she felt about him. He could tell when she kissed him. Angel knew Buffy cared about him, but there was no love behind her kiss – her heart was lost to him.

"Angel?" Fred asked. She was concerned. Angel hadn't left his office since his phone call with Willow, and he had been more broody than normal ever since he returned from Sunnydale.

"What is it Fred?" Angel couldn't keep the irritation from his voice.

"This came in today," Fred said.

"Mail? You came in here because of mail?" Angel asked.

"That's exactly why I came in here. It didn't come in the mail. It just came," Fred tried to explain.

"Great. Mystical package. Just what I need," Angel said, "I'll look into it."

Fred got the hint and left Angel alone once again. Angel sighed. He didn't like being so cruel to his friends, but he needed to be alone. Cordy knew all about him needing to be alone; Dark Place, that's what she'd called it. _"Great, thoughts about both of my ex-loves. This just keeps getting better."_ Angel picked up the package. It was unmarked and about the size of a video cassette tape. He really should have some tests run on it, but curiosity got the better of him. Angel ripped open the package and dropped the contents onto his desktop.

"Wes, Gunn, Loren, Fred!" Angel yelled, "You guys had better get in here!"

The group dashed into the office expecting something more than just Angel staring down at his desk.

"What is it?" Wesley asked.

"Look," Angel pointed to his desk.

"Didn't that go to Sunnydale to avert an apocalypse? Gunn inquired.

"Uh huh," Angel answered, "So, why and how did it end up on my desk?"

"Why is it glowing?" Fred asked.

The group watched in awe as the amulet began to glow. It started as a faint blue, before it turned into a piercing white light. They all hid their eyes. Once the light subsided, they blinked to allow their eyes to adjust.

"Bloody hell."

Angel opened his mouth, and then quickly closed it. There were no words. The rest of the AI team had the same sentiments.

"Spike?" Buffy asked.

Spike moved his head to find the voice. There she was, standing right next to her. "Buffy."

Buffy was in his arms the next moment. It was all too good to be true. She was back, and safe in Spike's strong arms. Spike was overwhelmed. He was back, the girl of his dreams willingly resting in his arms. Nothing could upset his mood, not even Tall, Dark and Forehead.

"B-buffy?" Angel asked.

Buffy looked up from where her head had been nestled in Spike's chest. There were five sets of eyes blinking blankly at her. _"So much for the quiet rest in Spike's arms."_

"Yep. Back from the dead, again," Buffy said lightly.

"How?" Angel whispered.

Buffy closed her eyes. There was going to be a lot of questions, a lot of things she had to explain. They weren't going to be the only ones with questions; she had some of her own. Most of them, wait, all of them, were for a certain bleached vampire.

"We should call the Scoobies. There's no point in going through this twice," Spike said.

Angel nodded.

Hours later, the group of them had assembled in the large conference room. When the Scoobies had arrived, no one knew quite how to react. There were no hugs, only nervous smiles and slight tearing. It was expected. This was the third time Buffy had come back from the dead. She was surprised the gang dealt as well as they did. The reaction from the AI team was expected, they didn't really know her, and Angel's reaction was understandable. She had hurt him pretty badly, only to come back with Spike.

"I know you guys all have questions, lots of questions. I need to tell you that I don't understand all of this yet. I was dead, really dead. More importantly, I'm so sorry to keep putting you all through this emotional roller coaster. I don't know how you guys deal," Buffy began. She didn't know where to go from there. Too many things needed to be said.

"'Sup, B?" Faith asked. She was not one for long silences. This was weird, but not exactly surprising.

Buffy smiled. It was good to have someone break the silence. "The last thing you probably remember is the amulet thing going all ET. That's when Faith started getting all the Slayers out of the Hellmouth. The amulet destroyed all the Turok-Hans, and then it started doing something to Spike," Buffy said.

"That's when I soddin' told you to get lost," Spike said, irritated by the memory. He still couldn't believe that she had died by his side.

Buffy smiled warmly at Spike, he was so cute when he was all irritable. "But I couldn't leave him to save the world alone. Then we went all combusty, then I ended up in limbo – literally."

"You too, then?" Spike asked.

"Yep. Then the PTB started talking all mystic like. Then, having died before, I told him to stop the mojo and take form –"

"They can do that? Bollocks, wish I would've know that. Saved me the talking to the void part," Spike interrupted.

"You'll get over it, Spike. This next part Giles, you'll like it. The PTB took your form. Did a pretty good you in fact. That's when they told me I had a choice. I could stay dead, and be all happy in heaven, or I could come back," Buffy said flatly.

"So that's it then? You just 'decided' it would be best to come back did you?" Spike asked.

Buffy looked away. This was way harder than spirit Giles had said it would be. How was she supposed to make her friends, or Spike understand? "It wasn't exactly that easy. I was reminded of how much I've messed up things in my seven years as Slayer Buffy. I've upset the balance. In order for this unbalance to become balanced again I've been given," Buffy looked up at Spike who had his eyes slightly narrowed on hers, "Immortality."

Buffy watched as Spike's eyes widened, as did everyone else's. Sure it was shocking, but the option of being alone in heaven wasn't exactly a high point for her…not when the other option was Spike.

"Damn, B," Faith said.

"Guess they just got sick of me cheating death," Buffy said offhandedly.

"Why did the Powers take my form?" Giles asked.

"I don't know. Maybe because it was familiar," Buffy said. "Spike?"

"Right, s'pose it's my turn then. Mine's 'bout the same, minus the whole form of Rupes bit. I was told that I could spend eternity in another dimension, or that I could come back here."

"That's it?" Buffy asked with disbelief.

"Oh, I also got my gem back," Spike said cockily.

"You get another shot, and the Gem of Amara, unbelievable," Angel said.

"S'not my fault you smashed yours, Peaches," Spike retorted.

Angel glared. He was livid. Spike had everything that was meant to be his. His girl. His gem. His champion status. It wasn't fair. He'd been the one with the soul for a good long time, then Spike decides that it would be cool to get one too. Good-bye girl, good-bye everything.

"So, you're back for good this time?" Dawn asked.

"I'm not going anywhere, Dawnie," Buffy answered. She rushed over to her sister and hugged her tightly. Tears streamed down the sisters faces.

"What does this mean? What now, Buffy?" Willow asked.

Buffy moved slowly out of her sister's embrace, "I don't know, Wil. I don't know."

* * *

Let me know what you think. 


	3. The Price

**The Price**

Cleveland, Ohio. There was nothing Buffy could say about it. She'd lived in California for so much of her life that anything new just left her misplaced. She didn't miss the Hellmouth that was Sunnydale, not exactly. Her Slayer side kept insisting that a Hellmouth was a Hellmouth, no matter where it was geographically placed. The rest of he couldn't be appeased so easily. Everything was different now. The world had been forever changed, the balance was forever lost. Something was brewing. If there was one thing Buffy had learned it was that once you stopped one apocalypse another came along to take its place.

At Giles' insistence, Faith had briefly recapped the activity that had taken place during Buffy's absence. It all sounded fairly routine to her, but after defeating The Master, the Mayor, Glory, The First, dying three times, and loads of other creatures – most things were just mundane to her. Faith and the rest of the Scoobies had done a very good job, teaching the new Slayers. Kennedy had pretty much assumed the role of Major Payne and Faith's right hand.

Xander focused his energies into building Slayer Central; anything to keep his mind off of Anya. Angel's donation had been enough to get the building up and running. It was good for Xander to have something to do. He, and everyone else, seemed to remain distant from her. Not that she could blame them. This situation made her wig and she _knew_ what was going on; why she was back. And it wasn't exactly like Buffy was Miss Social Butterfly, but things were…off.

Spike was still the same, except that he wasn't. He was distancing himself from her, and surprisingly, that's what bothered her the most. He hadn't spoken to her since they'd left L.A. He'd gone cold. When she had realized for the first time that she _and_ Spike were back, and in the same room, the reaction had bee immediate, second nature…go to Spike. At the time, he'd responded in kind, holding onto her as tightly as she did to him, but now he barely acknowledged her presence. What changed?

"_They're waiting for you."_

The idea was so simple and so considerate that she nearly missed it completely. They were giving her space. They remembered how she had reacted when they brought her back two years ago, and were waiting for her to make the first move. She needed to show them that she was OK. At that instant, she wanted to run out and tell her friends that she was OK, that being back was her choice, but she couldn't make her legs move. She knew why. If she went out there, she'd be telling her friends half-truths. They deserved more from her than that, they deserved the whole truth.

Spike stood outside her room He could hear her little sighs, the thundering of her heartbeat, and the rush of her blood as it surged through her veins. She really was _alive_. Part of him couldn't believe that she was back. Guilt. It ripped through him like a dagger. Bother of her most recent partings had been at his hand - once because he hadn't been strong enough to reach her, and once because he hadn't been strong enough to let her go. The whole thing seemed a bit ironic. The part that bothered him the most was her sudden immortality. She came back and the first thing she'd done was come into his arms. Not Angels. She _chose_ to come back. Why?

"Bugger this," he muttered to himself as he pushed open the door.

"It's about time you came by," Buffy said without looking up. She could have heard his thoughts a mile away.

"Thought I'd give you some time alone, collect your thoughts," Spike said.

"You and everyone else," Buffy replied. It was only then that she turned to face him. Her face fell instantly as she took in his face. He looked miserable.

"Why?" Spike barely managed to get the word out.

Buffy looked down. She knew this was coming, part of her was glad to get it over with; the other was screaming curses at the imposing vampire.

"Why'd you do it, pet?" Spike asked his voice stronger.

"I had to. There weren't exactly a lot of options. I made a choice, that simple," Buffy said.

"S'not that simple. You know it; I know it. Tell the truth, luv," Spike said.

"Do you remember what I told you when you decided to turn all E.T. on me?" Buffy asked.

Spike nodded his head, remembering all to well what she had said.

"Then why are you asking? You know exactly why I came back, Spike. It's kind of funny, if I would have known you'd be this happy to see me, I'd've stayed dead!" Buffy was shocked at the venom her voice held, but she was more than a little irritated. "Of all the people here, I thought you'd be the one to understand my decision. You…know me best, more so than any other person."

"I just don't understand. You could have been happy, in heaven with your mum. Why would you give all of that up? You told me how much this was hell to you, so why would you come back here? It doesn't make much sense, pet," Spike said.

"Well, I'm not exactly known for being Sensible Buffy. You can't blame yourself for this. It was my choice to come back," Buffy said.

"You still haven't told me _why_. There's a reason dancing in those green eyes of yours. I've been around too many soddin' years to not notice," Spike said.

"Why do you have to blame yourself about this? Why can't you just accept me being back and move on," Buffy asked.

Spike watched the doubt dance in her sparkling orbs. There was so much uncertainty in her eyes. He'd seen it while they'd been in L.A., but didn't want to upset her by brining it up in front of everyone. But now, even alone, she wouldn't tell him. She wouldn't open up to him. Every time he felt like he was inching closer to Buffy, the true Buffy, she threw up another wall. It was like Ft. Knox, on over drive. He wanted to help Buffy. Eternity was quite an experience, especially if you spend it alone.

"Is this why you've been all avoidy? Honestly, it's really starting to piss me off. I need someone who understands what I'm going through, and right now that person is you. You had an encounter with the Powers, they gave you a choice, and this is the one you made…why?"

"Oh no, Buffy. You're not just changing the tables like that. I'm not going to just sing like a canary while you get off with evasion, not this vampire," Spike said.

"God, Spike. You are so, infuriating. Everything has to be so damn complicated with you, you can't just let things be simple."

"That's because things aren't simple, pet. Things left simple about two years ago," Spike said in a lower tone. He had to do something to make her understand. This isn't just something you can skirt around, bury for later use…it had to be dealt with, soon. "You know just as well as I do that the Powers are no better than the bloody Council of Wankers, they won't do anything with out a price."

"What was your price, Spike?" Buffy challenged.

Spike lowered his head. There was no way he could answer her, not now. Too many things needed to be said and done. He'd tell her, but not now.

"That's great. You walk in here acting righteous, and then when it's your turn to fess up you turn into Mr. Silent. How dare you," Buffy said. She couldn't hide her anger anymore. Tears began to travel down her cheeks, fire blazing in her eyes.

When Spike faced her once again, he visibly flinched at the look on her face. The pain that was etched into her normally smooth features cut him through. He knew what she expected from him, she'd made that crystal clear in L.A. He was supposed to be her rock, her support. She had trusted him to take care of her, to look out for her, but most of all to understand her. He'd let her down again, he could see it playing in her eyes. His strong Slayer was on the verge of breaking completely. It was too much for him.

"Come here, pet," Spike whispered.

Buffy stiffened, her eyes narrowing on his. Now that he was ready she was just supposed to go to him? That seemed great, just peachy. Where had he been earlier? There was no way she was just going to crumble, fall into his embrace just because he said so, she was strong. He'd been so quick to let her be alone earlier, why stop now. She was the Slayer, always alone…that was the package. No matter how many other Slayers were now called, no matter how many friends she had, no matter how much her sister meant to her, she was still alone. What a fool she'd been, coming back here, because she didn't want to be alone. Didn't make a difference, she was still alone, but it was worse here because there were people all around her. Always alone.

He watched the debate rage inside her. He could hear her pulse accelerate as she fought with herself. She was so strong, the strength poured off of her in waves, yet her eyes betrayed the weakness she felt within herself. A blind man, even worse, Harris could see it, if he looked. Buffy was the leader, the pillar of strength. She'd figure this out on her own, fight her own demons…alone.

"Fine," Spike growled. He stood up and crossed the room to the door in long strides. With one last glance over his shoulder, he left the Slayer alone to her thoughts.

Buffy winced as the door shut. The tidal wave of tears that erupted from her eyes was unstoppable. The last thing she wanted was to be alone, but she always was, and nothing she could do would change that. He was supposed to understand. "Stupid vampire," she muttered. Buffy sat on her bed and cried for hours, not moving. Only when she could no longer sit up right did she lie down on the bed, only to cry herself into a fitful sleep.

Outside, Spike listened as she cried. Every ounce of his existence wanted to burst through that door and hold her close. Wipe away her tears and whisper reassurances to her. Stubbornly, he sat outside and listened. Each cry making him feel worse. _"It's her fault. She didn't want my help. I offered her comfort, she turned me down. Can't help if she won't let me."_ He couldn't convince himself though. He was too much of a ponce to admit that he'd pushed too far, asked too much. He wasn't exactly shouting his reasons from the rooftops, who was he to ask her to do the same? It crept up on him before he could do anything to stop it; sleep. He collapsed into a heap on the floor in front of her door, silently sleeping away the hours.

"Should we wake him?" Willow whispered.

"I don't see why not. I want to know why he's sleeping on the floor outside of Buffy's room," Xander said.

"Waking him would be mean, don't you think?" Dawn asked.

"This is Spike," Xander said.

"And he saved the world," Dawn countered.

Xander opened his mouth to argue, but closed it quickly. Dawn was right; Spike did save the world. Buffy had been right about him all along, they had just been to dumb to see it sooner. He had changed, even before the soul…the soul just helped make the change stick.

"So, do we wake him?" Willow asked again.

"Don't bother, I'm awake. You lot are so loud, it's amazin' anyone gets any shut eye around here," Spike grumbled.

"Don't be grumpy. What are you doing sleeping outside Buffy's room?" Dawn asked.

"I just woke up, bit. Can you wait a few moments to start the inquisition?" Spike asked.

"Inquiring minds want to know," Dawn said with a smirk.

"Right. Slayer and I were having a little talk, I left," Spike said.

"So, that puts you sleeping at her door because…" Xander said.

"Fell asleep here, I guess. I don't remember," Spike said.

"What did you do to Buffy?" Xander accused.

"I didn't do a bloody thing, boy. This is a nice way to be woken up, 'why are you here, oh by the way, what did you do to Buffy'," Spike paused, "What's wrong with Buffy?"

"She's gone," Dawn said.

"Gone?" Spike asked.

"We thought you might know where she went," Dawn said, "Plus, you're the most likely to find her."

"Right," Spike stood up and forced the grogginess from his eyes.

* * *

Buffy wandered the cemetery mindlessly. This wasn't exactly where she had planned on going, but it seemed to be some what of a sanctuary to her. Ironic, really. A cemetery being a sanctuary. She had to go somewhere to clear her head, get her thoughts into a semblance of order. Spike's sudden need for information had caught her off guard, even though she'd been expecting it. This shouldn't be hard; Spike was just supposed to accept what she told him. That wasn't true, and she couldn't make herself believe that. Spike knew her too well to accept some half cocked explanation from her. He could tell there was something bubbling under the surface, hell he could probably smell the lie on her. It should be comforting to tell someone, him, but somehow it wasn't. Spirit Giles had brought some scary truths to her attention, and Buffy wasn't ready to deal with those realities quite yet. It was enough to be back and yet not back. Going back meant going to Sunnydale, familiar, not Cleveland. One Hellmouth was not the same as the next. This place had unfamiliar cemeteries, new beasties, and no Bronze. Everything she had ever known was stripped away from her. Cleveland made her feel more alone than any other place she could think of.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notices the distinctive tingle on the back of her neck when a vampire was near, nor did she hear the snap of the twigs on the ground as the vampire closed in on her. Only when the vampire grasped her shoulders did she finally notice that telltale feeling. Her muscles instantly tensed under the grip of the imposing vampire. She quickly grasped his hand and flipped him over her shoulder. She used the momentum to take her with him, and landed straddling the vampire, stake ready.

"If that's how you want to do this, fine by me, luv," Spike said.

"What are you doing here, Spike?" Buffy asked, annoyed.

"Kiddies sent me to find you. Said you went all Houdini and left. Bit's worried about you," Spike said. He reached inside his duster and pulled out a cigarette.

"Well, I'm fine," Buffy said as she stood up, "You can go tell them."

"Jus' like that?"

"Yes. I came out here to clear my head. Having blond vampire out here with me isn't going to help with the clearing," Buffy said.

"Bloody amazin'. You're so caught up in Buffy the God, that you won't take help. You run hot and cold faster than anything. When we first came back, you came into my arms; it meant the world to me. Then, last night, you kicked me out," Spike said with a raised voice. He couldn't keep the irritation from seeping out.

"I run hot and cold?" Buffy asked incredulously, "You didn't want to 'comfort' me until _you_ were ready. Last night I kicked you out, yeah, but you kicked me out before we even left L.A. God, Spike. Sometimes you are such an idiot. I figured that you would know how hard it was for me to seek comfort…you of all people should know that. Weak Buffy doesn't make guest appearances in this reality very often. You want to know why I came back, fine. I came back because I was _scared_ not to."

Spike took a long drag from his cigarette. Hoping the heat would make him combust where he stood. This was not what he had expected. He wasn't prepared to deal with this response from Buffy. He missed the fight, punch it out Buffy. "Scared?"

Buffy sighed, "Yes, scared. When I came back and I saw you I was sure that everything would be alright, that I'd made the right choice. Then, you went all avoidy on me and I began to question myself. Maybe I should have just stayed dead, left the world for good for once. Too late for that now."

"Don't say that. Don't say you'd be better off dead, please, luv. I'm a ponce, I know that. I didn't know how to react to all of this. I'm new to this whole life after death from saving the world thing. Hell, you're the expert at the death gig. I just follow along, trying not to bugger it up too much," Spike said.

"That's me. Death expert, Buffy in for duty. This isn't easy, I don't think I expected it to be, but it's just so different. I don't know how to deal with this," Buffy said.

"This what?" Spike asked softly.

"Eternity."

Spike hazarded a step closer to Buffy. She still had a stake, and was in a mood to use it. When she didn't go defensive, Spike closed the remainder of the distance between them. "There's no secret, pet. No rule book to follow. Jus' do what you can, each day."

Buffy blinked up at him. There was reassurance in his eyes. Without saying it, he told her volumes. She knew that whatever eternity offered, he'd be there with her. With a mind of their own, her arms snaked around his waist. Feeling relief flood her body as his arms pulled her closer to him. She buried her face into his chest, shielding herself from the world. If only for a moment, here in Spike's arms, she could feel peace. A peace no other dimension, no heaven, no hell could offer her.

* * *

Faeries Twilight - They were both in limbo, but they didn't know anything about the other. I hope this chapter shows that a bit. There's a reason for all of this, but that's the plot of the story...you'll just have to wait.Please review.   



	4. Eternity

**Eternity**

"You're sure of this, Diego?" Eron asked.

"Yes, sir. The news is everywhere. It seems she isn't as unstoppable as we had first assumed," Diego answered.

Eron paced the musty room, a wicked grin on his face. Maybe things weren't as bad as he had first thought. "When can it be done?"

"Soon, very soon. I have men working on it right now," Diego answered.

"Can we be certain that nothing and no one will interfere with our little plan?" Eron asked. He gazed at his servant, his eyes narrowing to slits.

Diego flinched under Eron's gaze. "For the moment, nothing can harm us. We are in complete control of the Hellmouth."

"For the moment?" Eron raged, "It should be under our control for more than just 'the moment'. I need to have assurance that we will be able to…" A thought entered his mind. "We may need some help with this. I think I'm going to call in a little favor of mine."

"F-f-favor?"

"Yes, a little insurance. Something to keep the little Slayers occupied for a while," Eron said.

"What about their leader?"

"She will not be a problem. I know how to keep her from meddling in things beyond her control," Eron said.

"Not to be impertinent, but can't she upset things for us?"

"There is always a possibility of failure at the hands of another. That's what makes this whole thing so exciting. A true battle."

"Eron, you need to hear this," a woman said as she entered the room.

"What is it, Vonda?" Eron inquired.

"Looks to me like your little friend over here didn't exactly do all of his homework. Our favorite girl isn't alone in this fight. Even if she was alone in this fight, there is no way to destroy her," Vonda explained.

"You assured me that our plans would continue as scheduled, Diego. I am deeply ashamed of you. We can not afford for careless mistakes this close to the end. Too much hangs in the balance. I can not allow you to fail me," Eron said calmly.

Diego cowered under Eron's even gaze.

"What am I going to do about your error? There are so many options, I just hate to limit myself. I could always cut you into tiny pieces to feed to a more loyal servant. Or better yet, I could send you away without your horn. What would you be then, Diego?" Eron said.

Diego sobbed in the corner of the room.

"That's exactly the point. You'd be nothing. However, I am in need of servants. I will be forgiving this once. You must not fail me again," Eron said.

"Tell me what I must do," Diego said. He straightened himself, not wanting to seem disrespectful in front of Eron and Vonda.

"If I may, lover, I have a task for this wretch," Vonda said.

"He is yours to command, my dear," Eron answered.

* * *

"What are you talking about, Faith?" Kennedy asked.

"Chill, nothing's been decided. I told you all before, I'm not your leader. Not exactly the leader type. That's B's thing, not mine. You just need to get over your little thing with her," Faith said.

"You've been doing the 'leader thing' since Sunnydale, and everything's been fine. What's different now?" Kennedy challenged.

"Buffy's back now. I can take backseat, go along for the ride," Faith answered.

"Why are you so quick to give up all of this?" Kennedy asked.

"I don't want – " Faith paused and shook her head, "Look, I'm not discussing this. I don't have to explain myself. Take a pill or something, just deal."

"We don't even get a say in this do we," Kennedy said softly.

"It ain't exactly your choice. When are you going to move on, Kennedy?"

"When are you going to step up?" Kennedy said.

Faith inhaled sharply.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Kennedy said as she left.

"And the reason Kennedy tried to run through me…" Buffy asked as she walked into the room.

"Just letting off a little steam," Faith said with a shake of her head.

"Why steam?" Buffy asked.

"She's not exactly down with ya, B. Told her about you possibly taking over, and she went psycho," Faith explained.

"I don't have to take over, Faith. It's totally cool if you want to keep it up, you've been doing a great job with the girls," Buffy said.

"Damn, never exactly thought I'd hear that. Last time I took care of the girls, you gave me a pretty nasty right hook," Faith said.

"Would that help now? Because if you're looking for a repeat…" Buffy teased.

"I think I'm good now, but I'll keep the offer in mind," Faith replied.

"So, what are we going to do about the girls?" Buffy asked.

"We?"

"Yeah, I see no reason why only one of us has to make the decisions. I do remember that occasionally our individual ideas aren't exactly good as far as ideas go," Buffy said.

"You think we could do it? Even with the Buffy/Faith history?"

"Unless you'd just like to go Coma Girl again."

"I'd so kick your ass, B. 'Sides, you were all fight because of Angel. You'd have no edge."

"Somehow, I think I'd manage."

Faith laughed. It was good to have another experienced Slayer. Until recently, Faith had never really understood what being the only Slayer had meant. It was amazing that Buffy had only died three times. The pressure and the job just…damn. Sure it was all fun to fight, but when it came to being the good guy, Faith was a little behind. Taking care of all the little Slayers, that was just a nightmare. Faith was beginning to understand all the pressure that Buffy had been under in Sunnydale. Didn't really change her mind about how things went down, but it did add perspective.

"So, let's do this joint leader thing. Still got a few things to learn about being the good guy," Faith said.

Buffy nodded. Noise from the other room caught her attention. The two girls walked toward the ruckus and stopped short of the door to listen.

"I don't care how many times she's died," Kennedy yelled.

"Then what in the bloody hell do you care about?" Spike yelled back.

"Spike," Willow said softly.

"What? You going to just coddle to your girlfriend, Red? Did we all go to the same Hellmouth? See, the one I was at ended with the world still intact, thanks to Buffy _and _Faith," Spike said.

"No credit for you? You just going to say that it was all Buffy? Buffy, savior of the world, too good for herself?" Kennedy spat.

"No, there's credit for me in there, but nothing compared to Buffy. You just won't give it up, will you? One bad thing happens and you just run with it. Jealousy is not a good trait for you, luv," Spike said.

"Jealous? Of Buffy? Am I the only one who remembers nearly dying?" Kennedy asked.

"You think that's a bitch, remember dying…oh, wait, you can't do that. All you can do is play judge. When are you going to grow up and get over yourself?" Spike asked.

"You're always defending her, and she's always defending you…it's like nothing anyone else says about either of you makes a difference, you'll always agree with her, and she'll always agree with you," Kennedy said.

"See anyone else to do that, pet? Look, you've been a Slayer for a whole of three months, bagged maybe a dozen baddies, and had an army of people to help you. Buffy's been the Slayer for seven years, killed more nasties than I can count, died in more apocalypses than you've seen…alone, and yet you think that you know everything there is to know about being the Slayer. You're a piece of work. Harris is the only one of you lot that has room to call Buffy on _anything_, but notice him keeping his yap shut…take a lesson," Spike said.

"You are amazing. This is just what I was talking about. It's a blind spot," Kennedy raged.

"Kennedy," Willow said, "Spike has a point."

"You're against me too, Wil?"

"I have to be against you to be for Buffy?"

"All right, Kennedy. I've had enough of this from you. You got something to say to me, say it," Buffy said as she walked into the room.

"Don't think it really matters. You're back. What the rest of us think isn't important," Kennedy said.

"Hey, over reacting girl, what 'us'?" Xander asked.

Kennedy blinked at Xander.

"Not to add to the problem, but you seem to be the only one in here with a problem," Dawn said.

"Of course you'd side with her, she's your sister," Kennedy said.

"And I remember kicking my sister out of my house last time I thought she was um…off," Dawn said.

"I'm done with this," Kennedy said.

The group watched as the girl stormed out of the room. Willow stood to follow, but stopped when she decided that it would be best to give her girlfriend some space.

* * *

"That was quite the interesting night," Spike said casually.

"Yeah, interesting," Buffy said. She paced the basement, her eyes narrowed in concentration.

"What's wrong, pet?" Spike asked.

Buffy ignored him and continued to pace the room. Her thoughts were muddled, beyond muddled, and she really didn't want to talk about any of it. She knew she was shutting down when she shouldn't, and Spike was really the only person that she could tell all of this to, but something kept holding her back forcing her to deal…alone. That word, it kept plaguing her…did it have to?

"You know, loneliness, being alone it's really overrated," Buffy said flippantly.

"So I've heard."

"What's so great about being alone anyway? I mean it doesn't really mean anything, it doesn't help people to deal…so why do it? Why am I always making myself be alone? Why can't I just stop being all lonely like?" Buffy asked.

Those eyes would be the death of him. There she was staring up at him with her crystal green orbs, begging for comfort, for answers. There was something about her, always had been, it called to him. Dru had been the first to see it. The spark, the connection between the Slayer and the vampire. It's like a fairytale, with out all the happy parts. Enemies destined to be something else, something greater. He was her champion. And now she was expecting him to help her.

"I don't know, pet. You've carried the weight of the world for so many years, that I don't think you know how to let it go. In fact, I think part of you actually wants to keep it," Spike said.

"Why would I want to keep it?" Buffy gritted out.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, I've seen that look before. It's not bad. You are the original Slayer. You had to grow up faster than any other person here, dead or alive. You've faced horror after horror, and you faced them alone. Sure you had the Scoobies, and for a while you had Angel, but in the end, you faced them alone. You didn't have the luxury these new girls do. You didn't have a Buffy to look to for help, or assistance. They don't realize how easy they've got it, pet," Spike said.

"So what am I so afraid of?" Buffy asked.

"Failing."

Buffy stared at the vampire in front of her. He had always known what was going on inside her head. When she had come back and had to dig herself free, he'd known. When she and Angel and tried to be "just friends", he'd known. He always knew her heart. It was amazing to her that she hadn't seen, really seen, him sooner. She was terrified to admit how much she needed him. That was why it was so hard for her to admit her feelings to him. Sure they'd had a few rounds in the crypt, but nothing emotional was there. She couldn't let him in, and he was right. She was afraid that if she let someone in, they'd fail.

"I don't want to be alone anymore," Buffy whispered. She blinked back the tears that stung her eyes. Just because she didn't want to be alone didn't mean she was ready to be weak.

"Shhh, pet," Spike soothed. He walked over and wrapped her up in his arms. "You're not alone. I'm here. I've got your back, always will."

"Forever?" she mumbled into his shoulder.

"For all eternity."

Spike swept Buffy into his arms and carried her over to the bed. He had found it rather odd that of all the places in the new complex to be completed first, they would choose the basement. Looking down at the blonde beauty in his arms, he silently thanked whoever was responsible for that decision. He felt Buffy curl up into his arms, and she snaked her arms around his neck. Spike laid her down and heard her soft moan of complaint when he stood up. She pouted up at him as he turned off the light and removed his t-shirt. _"That lip's going to be the death of me."_ As soon as he hit the mattress, Buffy was in his arms.

"I don't want to wake them, they look peaceful like," Willow whispered.

"We've got to. She needs to know," Xander replied.

"What do I need to know?" Buffy mumbled from somewhere in Spike's chest.

Willow chewed on her lip nervously, "Kennedy, she never came back. She's missing."

Buffy sat up, "Missing, or not wanting to be found?"

"What?" Willow asked.

"Look, Wil, I'm all with the searching if she's missing, but if she doesn't want to be found, she won't be. She took it pretty hard last night, maybe she just wants to disappear for a while, clear her head. Why don't we give her until tonight and if she's a no show, Spike and I will go find her," Buffy offered.

"Um, ok, but are you sure that um, you two are the best to go and find her?" Willow asked.

"Will's got a point, Buff. Kennedy was anti-Buffy and Spike last night. Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea for the two of you to go looking for her," Xander said.

"I tend to agree with the Whelp on this one," Spike said, "Red and Faith would have a better chance at finding the girl."

"I'll go talk to Faith. That ok with you, Wil?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. Buffy, I just want her to be safe," Willow said.

"I know, so do I. Don't look at me like that. Just because I don't wear a fan club pin doesn't mean I want her to get hurt," Buffy said.

Buffy stood up and walked up to see Faith.

"Troops tell you about our no show?" Faith asked.

"Yeah, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Willow's really concerned, and I'd like for you to take her out tonight…to look for Kennedy," Buffy said.

"That's really what you want, B?"

"I want Willow to be happy, and I want Kennedy to be safe."

"All right, but why me? I mean, aren't you the rescue guru?"

"I don't exactly think that Kennedy wants to be found, especially not by me."

"That's it then. I'll take Willow with me tonight, and we'll go Slayer hunting."

"Thanks," Buffy said as she turned to leave, "Hey, about last night, after the whole blow out…we cool?"

"Five by five, B."

"Good."

* * *

"This is a very serious matter, Buffy," Giles said.

"Why?"

"The Powers aren't inclined to taking requests. Your comfort is far from their list of priorities," Giles said.

"Nothing comes without a price," Buffy mumbled.

"What was that?" Giles asked

Buffy looked up from the table, "Nothing, just something Spike told me in L.A."

"Speaking of L.A., I've been doing some research on the amulet. The reappearance of you and Spike, while welcome, is far from a normal occurrence," Giles explained.

"Unless of course you're me, then it kinda happens a little too often, like a tradition," Buffy said flippantly.

"You see, this is just the sort of attitude that you can't afford to have right now. Something big is coming, this I'm sure of. You would not have been sent back if things were normal," Giles said.

"You do remember that this is a _Hellmouth_, right? Not exactly know for being Normal City," Buffy retorted.

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. There were so many things that he needed to make his Slayer understand, things that were going to be difficult for her. Even with all of her experiences, he feared that this would be unbearable for her. He would protect her from the truth for as long as he could, she deserved a chance to settle into living again, but sooner than he'd like, she'd have to know.

"You're right, things are never normal on a Hellmouth. That really isn't the point, though," Giles said.

"Then what is the point, Giles? Stop with the cryptic," Buffy said.

"The amulet is said to not only assist the Champion, but _hold_ the Champion until they are needed again. The problem is…you went with Spike. The texts are clear on what happens to the Champion, but there are no texts on what happens when two are involved. You must understand the severity of this," Giles said.

Buffy stood up and paced around the tiny room. "This is just great Giles. The balance, that's what you're worried about. I've gone and upset it again. Better off dead in the eternal way."

"Buffy," Giles breathed, "That's not what I meant at all. You cannot possibly think that I don't want you here, that I'm not elated to have you back."

"Why would I think that, Giles? Ever since I've been back, it's been the same thing. The balance. It's my fault, Giles. I've changed my fate too many times," Buffy said.

"Who else has said this to you?"

"No one, it's just the dreams. I dream of limbo every night, and the Powers always tell me the same thing: Balance…Your Fault…Big Mess…Unfixable," Buffy explained.

"What about Spike?"

"He's the one that's supposed to be here, immortal and stuff. I'm supposed to be normal, Slayer Buffy, not immortal Slayer Buffy."

"I see."

"What am I going to do, Giles?"

* * *

Here it is folks. Hope you enjoy. Please Review!

chiefhow - Lonliness is kind of a Buffy theme. LOL, But this is more about how she will deal with whatever happens.


	5. Turn

Turn 

Kennedy wandered through the cemetery. She knew she should go back to the house; Willow would be worried about her. _"She's the only one."_ She has seen Faith and Willow earlier in the evening, searching for her. Kennedy knew it was what Buffy had ordered…for Willow. She knew Buffy didn't care if she ever came back to the complex. At this moment, Buffy was probably telling Willow that it was better this way, that she didn't want to be found, but that she'd come around in time. Spike would be right there next to the Slayer Wonder, the Savior of the World, Goddess Buffy.

The sight of a Bringer pulled Kennedy from her musings, "Finally, something to kill," she said as she pursued the Bringer.

She held back and watched as the one was joined by several, and that several was joined by another several. "Quite the party," she whispered to no one.

A part of Kennedy wanted to run back to the house and tell everyone that the Bringers were back which meant that the First hadn't stayed down as long as they had all anticipated, but her selfish side held her back. There was no way she would go crawling back to the house to help Buffy and her followers, but they were more than followers, they were like worshipers. She watched in fascination as the Bringers hurriedly moved inside an abandoned building on the far edge of town. This was her chance, she could change everything, all she had to do was walk inside and say 'hello'.

"Now this is just exciting, a lone Slayer walking right in, like she owns the place," the familiar voice of Caleb greeted her.

"Wouldn't walk any other way. You're the evil that can't die, and that's just impressive," Kennedy said.

"Why would a girl come alone, unarmed into my place of residence? Doesn't seem to me like it would be the wisest choice," Caleb continued as if he hadn't heard her speak.

"You tell me, preacher," Kennedy replied coolly.

"You want the holy fire, girl. You seek something you can't get from the others," Caleb began, "They don't see you for what you truly are, you are such a strong instrument, capable of such great things both good and evil."

"Word is, you know all about the evil," Kennedy said.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why? Why be the big evil when you know there's always going to be a good guy to shut you down?"

"Now there in lies the fun of the whole thing. Knowing that you are up against odds that seem overwhelming…that's where the passion comes from, the fight. The sensations that run through you as you wonder if today will be your last, knowing that one false step could be then end of it for you. Why do you want to know about evil, girl?"

"Good doesn't exactly seem to do it for me anymore. I assumed my skills could be put to use…elsewhere."

"What could have possibly driven you to turn coat?"

"She's blonde, green eyes, thinks she's God's gift."

"The Slayer, the _true_ Slayer…Buffy."

"That's the self-righteous bitch herself. The way I see it, she did a right job in slicing your last puppet in two…you need help, seeing as you can't take form."

"She did kill me good and proper, that weapon of hers working like a charm."

"So, am I just wasting my time here? Do I need to go back to the house and give you time to think about my offer while I tell everyone that you're back in the game?"

"Now, now, just take a minute. I'm taking a minute to think over what you're telling me. Pardon me for not being trusting right off, but last time we met, you and that little witch were performing a spell to give all the potentials their full power. That isn't exactly the kind of help I want."

"Last time we met, Buffy wasn't such a large pain, well, she was, but it didn't matter as much."

"What's different now?"

"Everyone is on her side this time, even Xander."

"Yes, I remember him, the boy who sees everything. I took one of his eyes, and never got to complete the job for him…I'd really like the chance to."

"See everything except what's right in front of his face. He's got a blind spot with Buffy. After everything, and everyone he's lost he still follows her lead and backs her up, always."

"The man is loyal, no sin in that."

"That loyalty will get him killed."

"Does that bother you?"

"Not like I thought it would, how…relieving."

"It's nice not to care, not to have to worry about doing the right thing, always being the good guy," Caleb said. Kennedy watched as Caleb dissolved into the figure of the Mayor, "Faith knows all about that. That kid had quite the appetite."

"She gave it up, she fights for the good guys now. She and Buffy share the leadership role at the complex. The badness in her, it's gone."

"Oh no, my Faith will always have that dark place. She'll never be as dark as she once was, which is disappointing, but what are you going to do? You raise them, you feed them and all you can do is hope that they turn out as evil as you wanted."

"Kids these days," Kennedy said with a smirk.

"Watch that attitude young lady. I won't take any lip from you," the Mayor said, "Kind of a funny phrase, 'take any lip'. Don't you think?"

"Hysterical."

"I have to ask, why come to me? Why seek me out? What's in it for you?"

"First, didn't seek you out, saw one of your little friends, followed him here. Second, everything's in it for me. Revenge, a chance to see Buffy fail once and permanently…show everyone that she's not as high as she thinks she is."

"Revenge really is a sweet thing," the reformed Caleb said, "It's my favorite sin."

Kennedy couldn't get over it. The only time she'd seen the First it was as Caleb, it was mesmerizing to see the First morph between people. It showed how much power this evil really had, to be able to take on the image of any dead person, wow.

"You know, this won't be easy. People are going to die," the First said.

Kennedy was stunned, before her stood Buffy. For a moment she was worried.

"Relax, it's just me. Remember, I'm the death expert, or rather the non-death expert. Dying three times does that," Buffy said.

"Even though she's back?"

"Even though I'm back. Now, let's talk."

* * *

"We couldn't find her anywhere, Buffy. I'm worried. I should have been more supportive of her…I mean she was wrong and all, but still…" Willow trailed off.

"I know, Wil. We all came on a bit strong, she felt outnumbered, I'd know I felt that the night you guys…" Buffy paused, "She'll come around."

"I know. I just want it to be now, and not later. Later is no good."

Buffy hugged Willow tightly before standing up from the bed. "I'll make sure she comes back. I won't give up on her. I promise."

"I know."

Buffy gave one more worried look to Willow before leaving her friend for the night. She leaned heavily on the door and sighed. Part of her knew Kennedy wasn't going to come back any time soon, but she'd never tell that to Willow. Willow needed to be reassured that everything would be taken care of, no matter what the reality was. Coming back was selfish, she knew it, but that didn't change the way she felt about her decision. However, part of her knew that if she knew her return would affect things so drastically; she never would have come back. She would have gone on to heaven and spent the remainder of eternity soaking up the rays with her mother.

"Red ok, pet?" Spike asked softly. He knew from the look on Buffy's face that Red was far from ok, but he needed to help Buffy, and talking would help.

"She's dealing as well as she can. It will take time," Buffy looked up at him. She needed to tell him what she was feeling, what her "spider sense" was indicating, but she was afraid. If she told someone, out loud, then it made it real, and that was the last thing she wanted.

"I'd give up the ring to know what was going on in that head of yours, Slayer," Spike said.

"No, you wouldn't. That ring means more to you than my thoughts. I should know, I was around the last time you got your greedy little hands on it," Buffy said casually.

Spike smiled, he knew she was avoiding the topic. She wasn't ready for him to know. He'd play along with her, give into her need for secrecy. It was safer than pushing her. Pushing her always led to fighting and closure and he didn't want that. "Right you are, pet. Now, let's go have us some quiet in front of the telly."

Buffy smiled to herself as she noticed that Spike didn't wait for a response from her, he simply grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall after him. Calm flooded her system as she felt Spike's thumb soothingly rub hers. It amazed her how much the simplest, smallest touch from him could send her heart to the stars, cause every thought to leave her head, make the whole world just disappear. She'd felt that way the night he had found her and just held her tight. The strength that she took from him, that he offered her…it was unbelievable. She'd never felt like that, not with Angel, definitely not with Riley. She was always too worried about saving Riley to ever take strength from him, and with Angel it was too complicated. She could never be as close to him as she needed, if she was, he'd loose his soul…again.

When they reached the door to the basement, Spike let go of her hand to open the door, and she felt cold…alone. To alleviate the sense of loss, she hugged herself and followed him down the stairs. It was odd for her to feel that strongly toward the blond vampire. Her Slayer didn't want her to need his comfort, his touch, his strength, but that was why she had come back. For him. That's why she'd stayed with him in the Hellmouth, to be with him for all time. She'd pushed him away from her for so long, and every time he came back…this time it was her turn to come back to him. She knew that he needed her as much as she needed him, even though he'd never admit that out loud.

He watched Buffy closely. The slight furrow of her brow, indicating that there was too much on her mind. Her body language practically screamed fatigue. Her shoulders sagged, her steps were shuffled, and not even her expertly applied makeup could hide the bags under her eyes. Watching her was making him unnaturally tired. It was night, and his demon wanted to hunt in spite of the fatigue that plagued him. Tonight would be about Buffy. She needed him. He had seen it in her eyes the moment she'd walked out of Willow's room. He'd felt it when she didn't fight him when he led her away from the group. Tonight, he would take care of her.

Buffy allowed a gentle smile to play on her lips as she watched Spike arrange the pillows on the bed. "Do I get popcorn and an annoying little kid kicking the back of my chair?"

Spike smirked as thoughts of him and Buffy in a dark theater danced in his mind. "We might be able to swing the popcorn, but I was going for more of a private setting."

Buffy smiled. She'd seen the look in his eyes, the hunger and knew that he was thinking about the dark theater. She allowed her own mind to wander there for a moment. His cool hand on her thigh, his lips sucking greedily on her neck…

Spike saw her flush violently under his gaze, his grin turning wicked. He sucked in his cheeks and ran his tongue along the front of his teeth. "Naughty Slayer," he drawled.

"You're a pig, Spike," Buffy teased.

Spike slowly closed the distance between them. He allowed his hunger, his desire to play out in his eyes and smiled internally as he heard her heart rate accelerate.

She willed her heart to stop hammering against her ribcage. He looked so _hot_ sauntering towards her. He had a predatory gleam in his eyes that made her thighs quiver. He had been so very right about her…she needed a little bite in her man; make that a lot of bite.

Spike stopped when he was close enough to feel her breath on his neck. He could smell the sweetness of her arousal. "And you want me, Slayer."

Buffy shivered as she felt his breath on her neck. Her mind told her to tell him off, but her body wouldn't obey. She leaned into him until their lips were almost touching. When his lips met hers, she couldn't stifle the moan that escaped her lips. It had been so long since she'd felt his body this close to hers, his mouth exploring her own. She missed it. For the first time, she allowed herself to give into the feelings that surged through her. With all of the other intimate moments they had shared together, she had always held back. She was never able to give into her feelings. The time for that was past. Last year, she'd wanted so badly to have him this close to her, but never allowed herself to act on her desire.

Growling possessively, Spike pulled Buffy closer to him. He was relieved when she moaned into his mouth. Her signature was strong, it was the only thing he was aware of, the only thing he cared about. The rest of the world be damned. He'd waited so long to have her in his arms. Ever since he'd bolluxed it up with her back in SunnyD, he'd wanted her. Part of him would never forgive himself for what he'd done to her. The images of her frightened face, the disbelief in her eyes, it haunted him. Pushing away those thoughts, he focused fully on the beauty in his arms.

Pulling away for much needed oxygen, she looked up into his blue eyes. She was now completely lost in her desire. Unlike all of the other times, she didn't crave the sex like she had before. Her desire now was tender. She was content to just have him hold her, the smoochies were a bonus.

"Better?" Spike asked.

"Much," Buffy replied. She hugged him tightly and buried her head in his chest.

Spike gathered her up in his arms and carried her over to the bed. He looked down at her and was entranced by the warmth that spoke to him from her eyes. Pride swelled within him as he realized that he was the reason for that look. "Bloody beautiful," he murmured.

Needing him to be closer, Buffy patted the area next to her on the bed and pouted as he cocked an eyebrow. "Sit."

"Patient, Summers," Spike scolded. He went and turned the light off, then removed his shirt. Heat surged through him as he felt her eyes burn into his chest.

"Stupid vampire," Buffy groused. She crossed her arms across her chest definitely.

Spike shook his head as he sat down next to her. Wrapping his arms around her, he felt her resist his embrace. He chuckled softly.

She felt her resolve slip as he placed gentle kisses on her neck. She couldn't keep her muscles from relaxing as his talented mouth coaxed her. "I hate how you can do that."

"What's that, luv?" Spike asked against her shoulder.

She couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips, "That. Touching me and making me forget everything…even when I was supposed to be all irritated with you."

He chuckled at her. Always had to be stubborn, one of the qualities about her that had first drawn him to her. "I could always stop," Spike said as he removed his lips from her tender flesh.

Smiling to himself as she whimpered softly, he scooped her up into his arms and cradled her against his chest. He sighed contentedly as she snuggled into his chest, her little hands tracing patterns on his back. This was heaven to him. No other dimension could possibly be as blissful as this moment was to him. There was no other place for him to be, being in the arms of his Slayer was the best think he could ever imagine.

Buffy giggled as she heard him growl possessively. She liked the way it warmed her insides. Knowing that someone cared that much about her, that someone would always have her back left her feeling peaceful. She moved her hands up to the back of his neck and gently moved his head toward hers, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "I love you, Spike."

If he had a heart, it would have stopped beating at that moment. There had been no reason for her to say it, the world wasn't ending…it was truth. She loved him. The truth of her statement was written in her eyes. "Love you too, pet."

"Promise me something?" Buffy pleaded.

He didn't like the serious tone that had taken over her voice, "Anything."

"Never leave me, no matter what happens?" Buffy implored.

"I'm yours Slayer, forever. Nothing will ever make me leave you," Spike said.

* * *

"You're quite sure?" Giles asked.

"Yeah. Little bastards are back, no eyes and all," Faith told him.

"We spotted them on our patrol," Wood began, "They scurried off once they noticed us."

"They didn't try to engage you?" Giles asked.

"Nope, ran off. We followed them to an abandoned shack on the edge of town," Faith explained.

"This is very distressing. I knew that he would be back, I guess I was just hoping it would take him a while longer to reappear," Giles said.

"I think we all were," Wood said softly.

"Were what?" Buffy asked in a voice that was all too cheerful for the current topic.

"Ah, Buffy, you're up, good. We have a situation, quite bad actually," Giles said.

"What's the what?" Buffy asked.

"Bringers. They're in town. Looks like the First wants a second round," Faith said. She was itching for a good fight. Things had been a bit too quite for her liking, and now she knew why. Whenever the First made his presence known, all the local baddies made a run for the hills.

"Do we know how many Hellmouths there are?" Buffy asked.

"Why?" Giles asked.

"I just wanted to know how many craters we're going to have to create before this guy gets the hint," Buffy said.

Spike smirked. That's his girl, always go for the fight. Keep a calm front no matter what was happening underneath the surface.

"I don't exactly think it will be that simple, Buffy," Giles said. He removed his glasses and rubbed them furiously.

"Look, Giles, I know this is big…the biggest, but it's nothing I, _we_, haven't faced before. I say if we stopped him once we can stop him again," Buffy said.

"I'm with B on this one. I say we go and kill us some Bringers. We could keep one of them and find out what our good friend is up to this time," Faith said.

"I suppose that would be useful, but girls, I don't want to do anything rash. We don't want to upset the First, or cause him to move up his time table, not until we have a plan," Giles said.

"I have a plan," Buffy said, "Kill everything that stands between me and the First, then destroy the Hellmouth."

"Sounds good to me," Faith intoned.

"I like a good brawl as much as the next bloke, but I've got to agree with Rupes here. I think it's best if we wait this one out a bit first," Spike said. He didn't want to get Buffy brassed at him, but he just got back. He wasn't exactly looking forward to leaving again. Plus, there was more at stake this time around .He had her, and nothing was going to take that from him, not even the First.

"Spoil sport," Buffy pouted at him, "So, what do we do? I get that we don't go and cause trouble, but I don't want to just wait around for him to make the first move either."

"I think we're going to have to, Buffy. Until he makes himself known to us, there isn't much for us to do," Giles said.

"There might be something we could do," Willow offered hesitantly, "We could find out who his right hand guy is. You know the Caleb fill in."

"That's good, Wil. Find the guy that has form, and kill him. That would weaken the First, make him have to rethink his plans and give us some time," Buffy said.

"Time for what?" Xander asked, "I don't want to be Mr. Gloom, but last time we had a run in with this thing, we all nearly died."

"Giles was telling me something about the amulet the other day, how it held the Champion until they were needed again. Spike and I were sent back here for a reason, I'm sure of that now," Buffy said.

"So, what's the reason?" Spike asked.

Buffy sighed, "I don't know."

* * *

There ya go. Sorry it took so long to update, but the server was down and such. Please review. 


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